


Rowdy 3 Viking AU

by Tella_Tale



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016), the rowdy 3 - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vikings, Brotzly - Freeform, DrummerWolf, F/M, M/M, Vikings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-13 11:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12983349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tella_Tale/pseuds/Tella_Tale
Summary: So this is basically it's own story based off of the tv show but it takes place in a fictional place and time. Amanda is accused of being a witchakookoo and has to flee her village. Martin and the rest of the Rowdy 3 are leaders of a Viking village that find Amanda and hide her from persecution. Meanwhile Todd is trying to find his sister (guilt ridden for not confessing of having the same abilities as her) Along the way he finds Dirk, a cursed foreigner who agrees to help Todd find his sister in hopes that she can help remove his curse of constant bad luck and being 'Connected to the universe'.





	1. Witches in the Water

**Author's Note:**

> This is roughly based off of a tumblr post a while back. I suck at descriptions and I don't really know who my audience is for an AU this far off the original story so hopefully someone enjoys this as much as I enjoy writing it.

  
Wind swept over the sails of the ships as they drifted towards the shore. Fog settled across the top of the water leaving only the torch light of the village to guide the men home. They were returning from a successful raid of a Waring tribe a few islands over. The leader of the warriors stood at the helm of the ship, his men keeping close watch through the fog to ensure their safe passage. Even this close to home it was dangerous to sail at night. Every man woman and child heard tales of the Witchakookoo, Forest Witches that would snatch lost children and feast on their bones. Not to mention any warring tribes looking to catch the Chief off guard.

  
The tall man smiled at the sight of familiar shores, feeling the cool winter air rustle through the thick fur of his coat, paying no mind to the shaved parts of his head exposed to the freezing wind. "Clear sailing to the shores, Gripps?" He asked the man in the crow's nest. The larger man peered through the fog but his answer was interrupted by a taller, thinner man with a tattoo around his eye.

  
"How long can we go with out eating, Martin? I-I mean _Chief_ Martin." The man quickly corrected himself with a clear of his throat.

  
"Not much longer now. We'll hold a feast in honor of our raid upon our return, and I've told you a hundred times, Cross. _Outside_ the throne room, I'm just regular old _Martin_. That Chief stuff's too fancy for my taste." As if to show his level of class the man snorted loudly before spitting over the side of the boat. Just then a loud bang sounded as the door leading below deck flew open and a small young man came running out in a panic. The words coming almost too fast out of his mouth.

  
_"Martin-Martin-Martin-Martin-Martin-Mar_ -" He stopped short when the Chief put a hand over the boy's mouth to silence him. He closed his eyes letting out a heavy sigh.

  
"Though, _this_ is over doing it." He noted as if finishing his sentence from before. "What's wrong Vogel?" The boy was just barely old enough to fight by the looks of him but Martin had taken him under his wing for quite some time. They'd found him during a raid and had a fire in him like the which they'd never seen. At the age of five he could kick more ass than some of his best men. Fighting dirty of course.

  
Each of Martin's men had a unique merit to them, and each would lay down their lives without a second guess as he would do the same for each of them. Their village was small but they had gathered quite the reputation of causing mayhem and destruction in their wake. The Rowdy 3 was a name to be feared, and possibly confused by when looking at the four warriors. Martin's raiding group were the only one's permitted to speak to him in such a casual way and usually the only men he needed to take when they left the shores.

  
Martin removed his hand from the boy's mouth letting him speak at last. "There's a dead lady in the water!" The boy jumped up and down before dashing to the side of the ship and pointing in the water.

  
"That's not a dead lady, that's a log!" Gripps shouted down from the crow's nest. Martin's playful expression fell instantly, following Vogel to the side of the ship. Eyes followed his hand to what looked like no more than a handful of rags in the water. His vision wasn't the best but he could make out a shape of some kind.

  
"I'm tellin' you, Martin! I was in the bottom of the ship, tossing the rocks from my boots out the window when I looked out and saw the dead lady floating!" Vogel explained turning to Martin before turning back to point in the water. Cross looked over Martin's shoulder as well and even Gripps climbed down from the crow's nest to take a better look. As if all at once they seemed to sense something. It was no more than a feeling but they could all sense it. Something pulling them towards the body, urging them to get it into the boat.

  
"I think I can see a face!" Cross squinted, almost over the edge of the ship. "Holy shit, th'kid's right!! _Shit_! Martin! She's still breathing! Look!" He pointed an arm out to the figure. "She's holding onto a piece of drift wood or something!"

  
" _Told_ you it was a log." Gripps mumbled under his breath.

  
"Hop-to boys." Martin whistled loudly and his men jumped into action. Cross dove into the water after Gripps handed him a rope. He swam towards the body, pulling it behind him as he swam back. He tied the rope around her waste as Gripps, Martin and Vogel pulled the pair of them back on deck. With little more than a gesture, his men moved out of the way to give her some air.

  
"Where'd she come from?" Vogel peeked over Gripp's shoulder with a curiously innocent glint in his eyes. She was dressed very differently than them and again they felt the strange pounding of something impossible to describe. Like a drum calling them to her. Martin brushed the sopping wet hair out of her eyes as woman sputtered up water and began gasping for air. The four men jumped equally frightened when the young woman when her eyes opened to see them towering over her. In a scramble she backed away, nearly falling back into the water in the process.

  
"BACK OFF!!" She warned, looking for the nearest weapon only to find a large stone used to weigh down some loose rope. She lifted it up threatening to throw it if they got any closer.

  
Martin liked the spark behind the woman's eyes, despite being threatened. He put his hands up in defense, a soft smile pulling on his lips. "Easy..." he spoke slowly, not moving a muscle. "Think we might 'ave gotten off on the wrong foot. My boys and I just saved you, and unless you plan on getting frozen to death, maybe put down the rock?" He attempted a smile, letting it grow larger when he saw the rock lower. "This is probably just as confusin' for you as it is us and I'm sure you're concerned about getting in a boat with four crazy guys."

  
The woman paused a moment looking over each of them before eyes fell back to the leader. "Maybe _y-you_ sh-should be m-more concerned with letting a c-c-ccrazy p-pperson in your sh-ship?" She could feel the water drenching her clothes beginning to freeze as she stood there. Martin let out a laugh, impressed that even while in the threat of danger, she still had a sharp wit about her. He was starting like this mystery water wench.

  
"Ho! She flipped it around!" Vogel and the others laughed, quickly warming up to her just the same. Martin shrugged off his fur coat, cautiously stepping closer to drape it around her shoulders. At first she hesitated but quickly realized this might be the thing keeping her from dying of the cold right there. Knees were growing weaker by the moment and it was all she could do to stay upright. He could see her going down quickly, wrapping her up in the coat before she hit the deck. Closer to her now the feel of drums got louder and he could have sworn it was a heart beat. Eyes drifted close all together and the drums faded in an instant. His men didn't need direction. Their objective was clear. This mysterious woman was important, they just didn't know how or why yet and if they wanted to find out they had to keep her alive. 

  
Cross took the helm, steering them the rest of the way to shore as their Chief stayed with the girl. Gripps kept the curious Vogel at bay as they prepared to dock the ship.  Martin spoke softly, keeping the coat tightly around her while they prepared for shore. "Whoa, we got you, Drummer Girl. We got you."


	2. Witchakookoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda wakes up to find herself in the care of four very strange Vikings and confesses why she is on the run.

Voices echoed in the girl's head but it was difficult to make out the words. The deeper into the void the girl tried to listen, the faster the world around her spun. Images swam together like a story unraveling all at once and far too fast for Amanda to follow.

 _Fire dancing across the ocean._  
 _A man with a bright yellow cloak falling into an endless pit._  
 _Four wolves running through blood soaked snow._  

Amanda jolted upright gasping for air like she had been drowning. Her chest ached like she had taken the first breath of her life and a cold sweat had collected across her brow. Hands felt the soft fur surrounding her as she lay in the strange bed. Blinking a few times Amanda's eyes focused in the dim light of the fire to the small room she had been taken to. It looked like a lavishly decorated hut with several tribal carvings in the woodwork. Pressing her hands into the bed to sit upright, Amanda couldn't help but notice her clothes had been changed from the soaking wet rags she had before. Her fingers fumbled with the fabric, as the memory of how she'd gotten here sunk into place. 

As if on cue the canvas covering the door lifted and a young man with dark hair stuck his head inside. Amanda recognized him as one of the men on the ship. Eyes lit up when he saw her sitting upright and a wide grin spread across his cheeks. "SHE'S AWAKE!! GUYS!!" He darted back out leaving a confused Amanda behind while running off still shouting the same phrase. Lips were left parted as if she were going to speak up but he had left too quickly for her to even attempt. 

"Okay...?" Amanda spoke to herself with a frustrated grimace. Though the moment was quickly over when the canvas swung open again, this time a tall man with a braided Mohawk emerged, followed the same three as before. Having to exit strategy the girl started to panic. She was unfamiliar with the lands this North of her home and she had heard stories of the horrible things Vikings did to outsiders. She had no weapon, hell she didn't even have shoes. Though they had saved her from both drowning and freezing to death. The tall man folded his arms across his chest letting his thumb rest against his lower lip.  

"Oh good, you decided to stay in the world of the living." He seemed to be teasing her by the playful gleam in his eye. "My boys and I were getting a little worried after you zonked out on us back on the ship." 

"You started mumblin' about a dog." The skinny guy with the tattoo around his eye noted.   
"Your snoring kinda funny, though." The larger viking snickered.   
" ** _I_** wasn't impressed." The smallest shook his head as if it were a contest. 

Her eyes narrowed as she made sure to choose her next words very carefully. She was in strange territory and she had been warned as a child about how to properly speak to noblemen. The man wore no crown but he was obviously the leader of their tribe and despite his hospitality it would be foolish to risk pissing off a Viking Chief. Amanda Brotzman however, had never been one for formality. 

The Chief leaned forward offering a friendly smile. "I'm sure you have a lot of questio-" 

 _"Who the hell dressed me_?!!" She barked the question at him as she cut him off, but to her surprise he didn't get offended. Instead he gave a soft laugh and a crook of his eyebrow. 

"When we brought you to shore you were half frozen," He explained calmly. "Our village has a Healer. She dressed you in dry clothes, gave you some kind of magic soup to keep you from getting sicker." That would probably explain the bad taste in her mouth, like she'd been sucking on moss. Amanda clicked her tongue a few times trying to get rid of the taste. 

"I am village Chief Martin." he said properly introducing himself before gesturing to his men. "These are my band of Rowdy Warriors; Gripps, Vogel and Cross." Gripps gave a friendly smile and Vogel excitedly waved from behind him.  

"I'm Cross." Cross repeated only to get a jab in the ribs from Gripps. Cross of course jabbed him back who then bumped into Vogel who smacked him back. This went on for a few moments longer before Martin whistled for their attention. They froze, instantly straightening up and standing in line. The Chief pursed his lips, gesturing a hand to their guest.

" _Boys_ " There it was again. Amanda could see an unspoken connection between the four of them as if they shared one mind. Martin cleared his throat with a turn back to her. "Now, you mind tellin' us how a nice girl like you ends up bobbing in the middle of the ocean very very far from home?" Instantly the girl tensed up and again Martin heard the drum beat making his heart race. She was anxious about his question. Why did he know that? How did he know that. It was as if the information just flowed naturally to him as if he were feeling it himself. A glance to the others and he could tell they felt it too. 

"Hey whatever it is you're scared of," Cross took a step closer. "You have to worry 'bout that shit anymore. Martin'll keep you safe, right?" He chuckled as he gave his Chief a playful shove. He gave her a nod to agree. Reluctant of course, Amanda knew it was the least she could give them after they'd saved her. Running for so long maybe she was far enough from her troubles that it was safe to be honest. 

"Even if it's something incredibly dangerous?" She managed a chuckle but lacked the amusement. 

" _ **Especially** _ if it's dangerous." Gripps gave a broad smirk. Vogel and Cross nodded in agreement but Martin just kept his eyes fixed on hers. It was charming in a way how they all were so excited to here where she'd come from as if she were more than a half dead mad woman they found floating by their ship. 

"Tell us! Are you a Witchakookoo?!" Vogel shouted unable to keep himself quiet a moment longer. This time Amanda gave a genuine laugh, not expecting any of them to be quite so blunt about it. "I'm not the only one that's been picking up on her crazy brain magic right?!" A hand pointed to his head as well as hers. Martin swatted away his hand gently with a look to behave himself. 

"In my land it's just called Forest Witch...and honestly.. I don't know." She answered honestly enough with a heavy sigh. "I've never practiced magic. It's forbidden in my land. Anyone caught using magic is persecuted and burned at the stake. I started getting these weird dreams a few months back and then the dreams started coming true. My brother told me to just keep it to myself but...I thought I could help people." She bit her lower lip in thought briefly. "But it doesn't work that way. I start fire with my hands, lighting shoots from my fingers if I'm scared. Bees have come out of my mouth before.....I don't know how it works and I don't know how to control it which was more than enough reason for the Queen to put a bounty on my head." A hand slid across her throat not wishing to think of how her fate could have ended differently. There was an uncomfortable silence lingering for several seconds before Martin nodded and pulled up a chair beside her bed. The rest of them huddled in around him clearly not going anywhere anytime soon. 

"We have an old fable told from generation to generation and so on.." A hand waved motioning it going on forever. "Witchakookoo's were spirits of the forest, their companions in times of war and suffering were the wolves of the forest, guardians to guide the Witchakookoo on their quest to protect the forest. I think fate brought you to us for a reason, Drummer Girl." 

" _Drummer_...?" Brows knit together in confusion. They couldn't have known about the small drum she played when she and her brother performed music for a few extra coin. No he was talking about something else.

"The noise we keep hearing." Cross held a hand to his ear cupping it. It drummed faster now and Amanda was sure she could hear it too. Amanda was starting to get the feeling they were brought together for a reason and it was all coming to a boil. The all too familiar buzz in the tips of her fingers tingled as an attack threatened to form. 

"Oh no...no!" She tried to keep her hands close to her for fear of hurting them. "It always happens when I get too worked up. Stay back, I don't want to hurt you!" She warned but it was too late. The tips of her fingers caught flame, the burn of fire stinging her nails. It crept down her finger tips with a scream as she tried to keep the fire contained. Then as quickly as it had begun the pain subsided until it was gone all together. Amanda felt the pain fade from her like a current pulling it away only to leave the fire. 

The Chief and his men felt the flow of energy as well drain from her into them each and filling something they had never realized had been empty in the first place. Martin breathed in deeply, watching as Amanda seemed to have more control of the flames now, making them dance across her fingers. Judging by the look on her face she was just as surprised as they were. With a single huff, Martin blew out the flames on her fingers. 

He grunted in a gruff voice. "We need to talk to Wakti."

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Barely Acquaintances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd meets Dirk, a strangely optimistic man from another land who keeps getting lucky in the worst ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder this is all very roughly based on Viking stuff. As for dialogue I wanted to go with a modern vibe. Also this chapter was a little rushed, I hope to get a bit more into detail with Dirk and Todd later.

All in the course of three days things had gotten from horrible to catastrophic. Todd Brotzman had managed to lose his job, his sister and any hope of finding her after she had a full blown incident in the middle of town. Todd tried to warn Amanda about trying to use her powers for good but she was never one to listen. She kept going on about how her visions could help people and now the entire kingdom of Blackwing was looking for her. The man did his best to keep his younger sister safe but Blackwing would stop at nothing to bring down anyone who showed even the slightest hint of magic. Things only seemed to get worse after the fool of a Prince, Hugo, had taken over and guards were on watch at all hours. After Amanda had escaped they had locked him in a cell hoping to either bring her in on the threat of his death or perhaps just kill him to make an example of anyone trying to oppose the Prince. Either option wasn't something Todd was looking forward to.

The cell they had put him in was cramped and dark leaving only a sliver of light coming through the bars in the cell window. A strange nest made of bits of old rags and linen took up most of the cell, a yellow bunch of fabric balled into the center like a big pillow. He paced the cell over and over, smacking at the bars as if that would be a probable solution to his situation. He tried calling for help in hopes of explaining he didn't have powers, just his sister did. Or maybe he could fake an injury? Todd had never been a great actor but he also didn't want to die here. At first Todd was apprehensive to spend the night on a nest clearly someone else had made while staying here, but as the hours drew on there was no bed to speak of other than the nest. With a heavy sigh, He plopped down on the yellow pillow only to discover it was far more hard and uncomfortable than a pillow should be.

" ** _GAHH_**! Do you mind?!" A rather unhappy voice came from the pile of cloth. Todd instantly shot back up for fear the bed had come to life somehow. 

"What the hell?!" Todd pressed himself up against the bars to get as far as possible in the tiny space given. The yellow fabric moved upward to reveal it wasn't a blanket so much as a cloak wrapped around a very thin, very sleep, very grumpy man about Todd's age. He turned around pulling his hood down to get a better look at Todd. 

"You know, **_some_ ** of us are trying to sleep before their execution.....and ..." The strange man paused when something dawned on him. "Wait, what are you doing in my cell?" He turned on his heel looking around the room like gears were slowly starting to turn in his head. He let out an almost half giddy chuckle. Todd gave him a confused raise of his brows, jaw still hanging open in all the confusion. 

"You've been a person this whole time?!" Todd shouted back. "I-I've been in here for like six hours! How did you not wake up all that time?!"

The man pursed his lips, obviously annoyed by Todd's reaction. Straightening his collar he cleared his throat with a smug bobble of his head. " _Technically_ I've been a person the **_entire_ ** time I've been alive so you can stop yourself right there." His lips pouted even further in an almost prideful grin. "And I wasn't sleeping I was waiting...Okay maybe I fell asleep for a little bit but only while the waiting bit was taking place." He nodded. "I was simply waiting for the stream of creation to send me what I needed."

"Oh great...they've locked me up with a crazy person." Todd's eyes went wide before turning to grab the bars of his cell and start shaking them. The strange man put a hand on his shoulder only making Todd more jumpy. He pulled away ignoring the man's hurt expression when he did so. "Get off me. I don't even know you!." He shrugged brushing the man's hand off  who only returned his rudeness with a smile and offered him a hand to shake. 

" _Hiii_." His head tilted to the side as he spoke. "I'm Dirk Gently, your new room mate, and unless you want to end up at the gallows dangling by your throat by next morning, I suggest you drop the attitude and possibly see this as an opportunity to work together in getting ourselves out of here." Dirk spoke so bluntly that Todd was left stunned a moment. Something Dirk took advantage of. "Now I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess thing's haven't been going your way as of late?" Todd opened his mouth to speak but Dirk was too fast. "And unfortunately you being here means things are going to get a lot worse, but have no fear. Things almost usually always work themselves out." He nodded. Todd paused, mouth still hanging open. 

"I'm going to die in here." A hand ruffled his hair as Todd let out a sigh and leaned up against the rusted bars of his cell. Dirk nodded and folded his arms as if mirroring Todd. "N-no...no don't do that..."

"Do what?" Dirk asked.

"We aren't friends, hardly even acquaintances. Don't act like you and I are in the same boat. As soon as I find a way to break out of here I'm leaving you and this town and looking to find my sister!" Todd looked away just as Dirk's face seemed to light up. 

"You've got a _missing_ sister?" Dirk tried to keep himself as calm as he could but the excitement was all over his face. Like he was in on a joke Todd wasn't getting just yet. "Who's wanted by Blackwing for use of magic?" He almost giggled now. Todd looked back with an even more annoyed expression, if possible. 

"Yes." 

That was all the more Dirk needed. A wide grin spread across his lips and he rubbed his hands together in thought. "I'm starting to understand why the forces of fate brought us together." 

"The forces of a flawed judicial system are what brought us together." Todd noted. 

"Fate, scary men with pointy sticks, it's all the same to me."

"They're called swords..do-do you not know what a sword is?!" Todd craned his neck to look at Dirk with a hint of concern. 

"I don't know a lot of things, but...I do know how to escape." Dirk moved past him to the other side of the cell, bending over so Todd couldn't see what he was doing. From under his blanket nest, Dirk pulled a key out. Now Todd was really ready to lose it. 

"YOU'VE HAD A KEY THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU JUST SLEPT HERE?!" He shouted only to have Dirk shush him for fear of alerting a guard. 

"Shh, yes, yes. I just had a hunch I should wait a bit longer and look. Now I can help you out too, see. Fate brought us together...umm..." Dirk paused not knowing his name. 

" _Todd_." He said, still not dropping his annoyed expression. 

"Todd...T-todd.." Dirk sounded the name out between his teeth a few times. "Bit of an odd name."

"Coming from a guy with an accent I've never heard before..." 

"Fair." Dirk nodded before moving to unlock the cell door. "Lots of things from your land seem strange to me, but I suppose in my land it would be the same for you." He shrugged. With almost no effort the door came loose. "Well that was easy enough." Dirk smiled. 

"HEY!" A guard shouted the moment the cell door swung open. "HEY YOU ARE SENTENCED TO EXECUTION!! STOP RIGHT THERE!!" 

Dirk turned to Todd taking his hand. "Time to do the running bit now!" He declared before taking off opposite of the guard. Todd didn't argue, knowing this might be his only chance to escape. They scrambled as fast as their legs would allow to get them as far from the jail as possible. Todd's town was small meaning the jail was as well. Todd took over leading the way, knowing it better than Dirk. He darted out of the building, ignoring the voices of Blackwing guards as they chased them out into the main road of town. Todd bolted past shop keepers, loose live stock, and a group of school children walking home, all the while Dirk followed apologizing for Todd each time he knocked a person over or trampled a chicken, all while keeping stride with Todd. 

They were running out of time and space to run as Todd had to make a turn at the docs. The guards were hot on their heels and both men took a literal leap of faith into the water only to land in a small sail boat. "Go!Go!Go!" Todd shouted trying to get the sails in order. Again as if by luck Dirk seemed to pull the right ropes and the wind picked up at just the right moment pulling them from the docks and out of reach of the guards. Both men took the opportunity to catch their breath, watching the guards drift into the horizon. 

"Well...Todd..." Dirk looked at him with a bright grin. "We're in the same boat now..." 

Todd just rolled his eyes as Dirk kept talking. "Y-you remember...because before you said not to act like we were in the same boat and well, now just look at us." he chuckled. 

"That's it I'm jumping overboard." 


	4. Feastings and Findings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rowdy 3 take Amanda to Wakti Wapnasi for some answers.

The whole incident had been beyond strange. The Village Chief never considered himself to be a spiritual man, and he knew of the children’s stories but he never actually believed them to be possible. Once Amanda was on her feet she followed the four men through the village square, ignoring the watchful eyes of the suspicious villagers. Martin had been kind enough to give her a fur cloak to keep her shielded from the harsh mountain winds. They led her to a smaller tent at the base of the village. Smoke billowed from the top of the canvas which was decorated in various dream catchers and talismans Amanda had never seen before. She wanted answers just as much as they did but at the same time she had no idea what she was in for. This land was strange to her and she hoped naivety wouldn’t be her downfall. 

Martin pulled the curtain to her tent back letting Amanda in first. Before she got a foot in he rested a hand on her shoulder. “Wakti can be a little...strange at times but she’s the real thing.” He assured her. “Some think she was sent to us by the gods, or is in fact herself a goddess with the way she has healed some of my people.” 

Amanda looked up into his eyes curiously. “What do you think she is?” 

Martin paused mulling it over a moment. “Don’t really matter if she’s magic or a mad old woman with a funny hat. I trust her.” He stated firmly with a nod. It seemed to be enough for Amanda. It was difficult even for her to understand but there was something deep down that let her knew she could have faith in his judgement. 

  
She stepped inside only seeing a fire in the center of the tent. The men filed in behind her filling the rather small space, though if Amanda’s eyes were correct it was larger inside the tent than outside. A shadow shifted and the figure came into view. Her appearance surprised Amanda at first. It was difficult to tell if she was wearing a mask or if her face was carved from bark but the girl did her best not to stare. She shrugged off the fur coat once she felt the warmth of the fire and politely greeted the woman with a bow. Not sure of the right customs Amanda made sure not to speak first. Todd had always droned on about the proper etiquette for talking to the right people. As if he’d ever be face to face with a royal one day.    
  
“I see you finally bring me something new, Martin.” The witch looked over her with curious eyes before turning to Martin and bursting into laughter. “My dear, you needn’t be so proper. This is Viking country.” A hand waved at her casually to relax. “I’d just thankful if you can get them to bathe.” She gestured to hand to the Rowdy 3. Cross sniffed his armpit before making a face. Vogel leaned over smelling Cross before sniffing himself, and Gripps then looked back at Wakti with a defeated nod. 

“Wakti, somethin’ happened.” Martin came forward so he was standing side by side with Amanda and a mischievous grin spread across her lips, parting to let out a silent laugh. 

  
“Why, of course it did. Just look at you all, you’re practically glowing. Come closer, Girl. Let me get a better look at her.” She ushered Amanda over to sit beside her. Hesitantly she moved to sit next to Wakti by the fire. 

No sooner had her rear hit the cushion did the witch snap a hand out to grab Amanda by the arm. She flinched at first until she saw Wakti observing her palm. Slender fingers trailed across the lines as she mumbled to herself words Amanda couldn’t hear nor understand. Wakti’s eyes grew wide looking deep into Amanda’s with an unsettling glee. 

“You are a leaf on the stream of creation my child. You have a very important role.” The witch closed the girl’s hand returning it to her. “I see why you brought her to me.” She cupped the girl’s cheek with the fondness of a mother giving it a light brush and Amanda found herself oddly calmed by the warm touch. 

“No, Wakti, it’s not...wait what on the what of creation?” Martin shook his head too flustered to follow. “We already know she’s some kinda witchakookoo. When her magic sorta...went off..” he didn’t know how else to describe it. “Me an’ the boys we...it was like we  _ ate  _ her pain.” Even saying it out loud sounded insane. Wakti Wapnasi froze a moment, hand still holding Amanda’s until she gave it a light squeeze. 

“This early and she can already manifest her attacks...and..and you say…” The witch got to her feet, speaking a little too fast to understand. “Martin, you of all people should understand what this means. The stories are to be believed.” Her free hand moved to grab some kind of dust and toss it into the fire creating a green smoke. 

“Stories?” Amanda finally questioned, not able to take much more confusion. “Chief Martin said something about Witcha — Witchakookoos and um...wolves?” She tilted her head, trying to remember it correctly. Wakti chuckled at her understanding, giving her hand a sympathetic squeeze again. 

“He may make a good Chief, but Martin never was one for paying attention to his lessons as a boy.” Wakti teased. 

Martin wanted to argue, but she was right. He wasn’t sure how exactly she knew that, considering she’d only been there a few months but as usual the old witch was right. It always felt as if she’d known them all their whole lives and he rarely questioned how she did it. 

Wakti waved the green smoke around and briefly Amanda was sure she could see the shape of something running. The harder she looked the more the shapes began to take the form of a pack of wolves. “It is believed that when the world was new, and man was still connected with the forest, those born with the unique gift of the gods would be destined to lead the path to greatness and be protected by the guardians of the forest. It is no coincidence you being here. Fate has brought you here for a reason, Child. This tribe is small, but its chief is the last living heir to a very old and forgotten legend. Their symbol is a wolf, guardians of our forests, protector of the Witchakookoo. The Chief acts as the alpha to his men, his  _ pack _ .” She again gestured to the Rowdy 3. “If the connection with his pack is strong enough it connects their minds like twine, knotted into one line. They feed off your pain and in return your powers grow.” Wakti’s smile grew larger with pride. “ _ Everything is connected _ , and now so are all of you.” The witch paused for a moment letting out a heavy sigh. “I hope you like the cold.” She teased releasing the girl’s hand and ushering her to stand beside Martin again. 

“We will have plenty of time to discuss this deeper, but just because the Chief has fed, does not mean your charge has. It has been a very long and trying journey for her.  Feed the poor girl, talk, learn about one another. Wakti Wapnasi has no plans on leaving this village any time soon. I must ask the Gods what this holds for your futures. Now go, go-go.” Both Martin and Amanda tried to argue, still having many questions but the old witch had them back out into the snow in now time. 

They all stood in the falling snow for several moments still trying to retain what all that had been thrust upon them. This was all happening too fast and it was making Amanda’s head spin and it was hard to tell if their “Connection” as Wakti had called it, was enough for them to pick up on because Martin cleared his throat first, trying to offer a kind smile. 

“She’s right ‘bout getting you some food.” He nodded, glancing to his boys to run on ahead and have the cook prepare her something warm. “Tell ‘em to break out the good ale.” Without question the three ran on ahead leaving just the two of them. A hand awkwardly scratched the back of his neck not sure what to say to someone you were just told you were destined to protect for the rest of your lives. They walked side by side as they headed to the Chief’s longhouse. The villagers attempted to stare but a few glances back by their Chief had them behaving in an instant. 

“Th-um-Thank you...for you know,” She shrugged, or at least attempted a shrug under the heavy cloak. “Saving me and the keeping me from dying of frostbite part was nice.” Amanda was rambling a little just trying to get any kind of conversation started. 

“Well, apparently it’s my job,” He shrugged in return, again trying to offer a friendly smile, but he wasn’t sure if he was over doing it at this point. “I knew the stories, but...well you never actually imagine them to be true.” He chuckled, a bit bewildered. “The boys an’ I always had a bond, different than any warriors I’ve ever seen in battle. Like we fight as one...now I suppose it all makes sense.” He took a breath giving her a playful nudge with his elbow. “Got you to thank for that, I suppose.” 

Amanda blushed, not really sure how to respond. For a leader he had a very casual way of speaking to his people, but at the same time they also feared and respected his power. It was obvious by simply walking through the village at his side. “It’s hardly as if I know what I’m doing.” She laughed with little to no amusement in her tone. “Just a few days ago I was running from being burned at the stake, now I’m a Witcha-koo-koo?” She said as she over-pronounced the title. “With a human wolf pack protecting me from...what exactly?” They were getting closer to the entry door. He stepped aside opening it for her and the wave of heat washed over her as she stepped inside. 

“Let’s hope we never have to find out.” He winked before stepping in behind her letting the door swing closed. The roaring fires had warmed the longhouse more than the girl could have imagined making her cheeks flush a bright pink. Martin offered to take her cloak, showing her to where he and his warriors usually feasted. Judging by the table sizes there was enough room to house the whole village for a meeting or feast. At the other end of the table the 2/4 of the Rowdy 3 were squabbling over who was going to sit where. Martin placed his fingers between his lips whistling to get their attention. At the sight of him and Amanda they straightened up, Vogel bowing to both of them only to have Cross grab his shoulder and shove him to stand upright. “ _ Fifl _ .” Cross mumbled under his lips at the boy. Gripps emerged from behind a door holding a tray of soup bowls, wearing a stained apron and a small stained hat to match. 

“Now, now, let’s settle down and let our Drummer Girl get something to eat.” Gripps warned his brothers setting the bowls of soup down for each of them. He gave a kind of bashful smile to Amanda. “I make all the Chief’s food myself. This soup was my great great grandmother’s--” Gripps stepped away to sneeze. “ _ Cousin’s  _ friend’s neighbor’s recipe.” He finished with a sniffle as he selected his own bowl. Amanda took her own bowl thanking him with a wide grin before taking a bite. She was about to say how delicious it was for a flavor she had never tasted before but she was interrupted by four men spitting out their soup in disgust. She jumped not expecting such dramatic reactions, especially to soup so good. 

“Bleh! It tastes like Gripps’s boots smell!” Vogel gagged. 

  
“It tastes like dissapointment and cow plops.” Cross scraped his tongue across his sleeve.

  
“What’d you do to the soup, Gripps?” Martin questioned, a bit confused as to why he would sabotage the meal. “Your great great Grandmother’s cousin’s neighbor a fan of swamp water?” He coughed, taking a big swig of ale to wash the taste out. The ale tasted off too but it was at least drinkable. Thank Odin. 

 

“It’s the same recipe, I didn’t do anything to it.” Gripps sniffed his spoon before turning his nose away. It took them several moments to realize Amanda had never actually stopped eating during their reactions. She finally froze when they all stopped to look at her. 

“What…?” She mumbled with a bite of potato in her mouth. “Don’t look at me like that. I haven’t eaten in actual  _ days _ . I would eat a an entire sheep if you let me right now...and honestly... this soup tastes fine?” She took another bite before it clicked in and at the same time they all seemed to understand when they fed from her pain, it changed them somehow. “Are you guys even actually hungry?” She asked which resulted in a lot of silent thinking. 

“Come to think of it, no.” Gripps rubbed his belly.

  
“I’m always hungry...but…” Vogel did the same. “If anything I feel better than ever. Like I’m lighter.” His eyes lit up feeling the same energy buzzing under his skin as the others. “Makes me wanna go on another raid! Or smash the cabbage guy’s cart again.”

“Leave Cabbage Guy alone. You already smashed his cart last month. Remember, it’s the reason we won’t let you nere the stables again.” Cross reminded with a wag of his finger.    


“Or a battle axe,” Gripps added. Amanda kind of enjoyed their banter back and forth. It was interesting to see how relaxed they were around her already. As odd as it sounded everything about the Rowdy 3 felt natural, like she was a puzzle piece falling into place. The soup warmed her belly as she listened to them discuss their newest discovery. 

“It sounds like we are going to learn a lot of new things about ourselves and each other.” Martin stated taking another swig of ale. He slid a mug to Amanda. “Welcome to the Rowdy 3, Drummer Girl.” He held his mug up and they clanked glasses. 

“You can just call me Amanda.” She reminded him but the Chief shook his head with a coy chuckle. 

“Nah, I like Drummer.” His smirk curled at the corner of his lips as fingers tapped thoughtfully against the tabe top. “Besides, that old life is behind you now...least I hope it is. We would never force you to stay or do anything you don’t want to but way I see it…..” His fingers kept tapping on the table top in a rhythmic pattern. It took Amanda a while to get it, but soon she realized the beat he tapped matched that of her heartbeat. “You’re one of us now.”  At his words his tapping sped up and the pair exchanged a bashful glance. 

“Does this mean Drummer gets to go on raids with us?” Vogel chimed in, to which of course Martin nodded. 

“You any good with an axe or a sword?” He asked and it took her a second to realize he wasn’t joking. Amanda burst into a fit of laughter. 

“You’ve looked at me right?” A hand waved up and down her body. “Most battle axes are bigger than me!” She continued to scoff but the Viking had a serious if not concerningly wicked look in his eyes. “When I worked at the tavern in my town I got into my share of fist fights, as any respectable lady should” She nodded sarcastically taking a sip of her drink. “But I have no idea how to even hold a sword, let alone a battle axe.” 

“Nonsense.” He took another swig of ale. “We’ll make a shieldmaiden of you yet, Drummer. We’ll teach you.” Without any further explanation he motioned for her to follow, bringing his mug with him. Using his free hand he lit a carved pipe filled with tobacco, blowing the smoke out of his nostrils reminding her of a dragon. To little surprise he led them to another part of of the longhouse which was filled with more weapons than the girl could have imagined. He took a long puff on the tobacco before using the end of the pipe to gesture to the room. “Pick  a toy out and we’ll go find somethin’ to hurt.” 

Amanda’s eyes lit up. Too many times had she been told it was too improper for a woman to fight. Not right for a Lady to take up arms side by side with men. Her whole life she’d been expected to do no more than work and bare children. For the first time in her life Amanda felt like an equal. The confidence didn’t go unnoticed and soon all four of them were surrounding her, encouraging her to pick out what they thought the best weapon was. Finally her hands rested upon a flail and Martin’s eyes lit up. 

“Good pick. That’n’s my favorite.” he said, assuring her it was alright to use. He tried not to laugh when she tried to pick it up, dropping it into the wooden planks under her feet with a crack. “But I think this might suit you better.” He offered her a decently sized axe that she could hold without dropping. “You will build up strength with time, and we will teach you how to protect your free hand with a shield.” He had his back turned a moment as he put the flail back, but he didn’t need to look at her to sense she was growing uncomfortable. “This is all happening too fast for you isn’t it?” He turned back, giving a sympathetic nod. 

Amanda returned the nod, looking down at her new weapon. Her hands started to shake and not long did she notice the cold of her hands started to burn, turning to ice. Steam rose from her fingertips and she let out a cry in pain. The axe in her hands frosted over before she dropped it sending bits of ice across the floor. 

This time around it came natural to the Rowdy 3, with no more than a deep breath they pulled the pain from her leaving only frosted fingers. Feeling the pain leave a flash of visions flipped through her mind, some repeating images, some new but it was still too quick to follow. In a matter of seconds the visions were gone and she could control what the ice on her hands did. It puddled in her palms at first before vanishing completely. 

At least it was getting easier

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Fifl = Fool / Idiot


	5. Fight Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin teaches Amanda a few fighting lessons and she learns why the Rowdy 3 hate the Kingdom of Blackwing so much

The sound of fists drummed on shields, giving the pair in the center of the practice field rhythm to help focus. Amanda stumbled with the sword in her hands, almost tripping past Martin and into the mud but the sword stuck into the ground keeping her upright. 

“Almost, but not anywhere near close.” He sighed, shaking his head as he turned to face her. “You gotta really dig your feet into the ground and tighten your grip on the sword,” he suggested as he moved to show her how it was supposed to look. 

Amanda turned mirroring him as she tightened her grip on handle but her elbows stuck out awkwardly and Martin refrained from snickering. Taking a step closer he adjusted her elbows and pulled her hip closer to his to straighten her back and suddenly Amanda felt warm in the mountain snow. He must have sensed something because the Chief gave her a little space and brushed a hand through his hair with a smirk. 

“There, give it a try no-” No sooner did he step back did the blade go swinging near his head and he side stepped just in time to turn and block the next hit with his shield. 

“You keep saying to catch your opponent off guard.” She gave a devilish grin before taking another swing only to have him block it again. He returned the grin with one of his own, excited at the prospect of her actually winning. 

“You catch on quick.” He winked before taking a swing with his axe. Amanda pulled up her shield, this time digging her feet into the dirt to keep herself grounded. She let out a grunt, shoving him back a few paces before charging at him but he was prepared. Amanda could have sworn she heard him growl behind his grinning lips before snatching her shield and using it to swing her around, missing his chin against her sword by just a few hairs. 

Her body slammed into his but her foot caught behind his knee sending them both into the snow and dirt. Amanda landed on top with just enough time to put her blade to his throat and they both froze. Catching his breath Martin smiled up at her, genuinely impressed at how quickly she picked up on fighting. Staring up at her, the Viking couldn’t help but admire her natural beauty, cheeks and nose flushed from the cold as she panted over him with a smug victory in her eyes. 

“Woah! Nobody’s beaten Martin before! She really is a Witchakookoo! Did you see her use her magic and make him go all~” Vogel dramatically imitated Martin stumbling to the ground like. Martin of course quickly pushed the blade away now avoiding eye contact with a grunt as he got to his feet. Amanda rolled off of him to the ground before taking his hand to stand up. “Does this make Drummer our new leader since she beat our old one?” Vogel continued asking Gripps as he slung his shield to the side. 

“Don’t quite work like that, Vogel.” Martin huffed with an unamused look. “Drummer just got lucky is all.” He shrugged it off but Amanda wasn’t about to let him go that easy. A hand slapped his shoulder and her sword pointed up to stop him from going any further. “Though I will admit you possess a natural talent for fighting.” He looked into her eyes while his hand stroked his beard. It felt a bit shorter after the close call with her blade. The hand moved to her blade pushing it back once more. 

“It’s been over a week of training. I hope it’s more than just luck.” She rolled her eyes putting the sword at her side. “When are you actually going to let me fight, Martin?” Her tone was pleading and hazel eyes grew big making it difficult to keep eye contact for the chief. 

Damn,  she didn’t even have to try to make his knees weak. He cleared his throat trying to suppress his thoughts for the moment. 

“When I’m sure you are not going to just go out and get killed your first raid. I don’t take just anyone, Drummer. I need to know that if things go bad those I bring will have my back and make the right choices. My boys an’ I have a moral code we follow.” He held up three fingers. “No harming women or children, Only take as much as you need to survive, break as much as you can along the way.” As he listed off the fingers went down one by one before the last finger up tapped her nose lightly. Amanda closed her eyes with a stern nod to show she understood. 

“You can trust me. I’m ready!” No sooner had she said the words did Amanda’s hands start to shake. She tried to ball them into fists in a poor attempt to hid her attack but the prick of a thousand thorns sticking out through the skin of her hands made her drop the sword with a scream. 

The boys came running to her rescue but she shook her head trying her best to show them she had control. “No!” She said a little louder than intended. “If this were to happen during a battle I might not be around you to have you feed on the pain.” A light gasp escaped her as she tried to keep from screaming some more and eyes closed focusing on the pain and the blood dripping from the thorns slicing out of her flesh. “I control this.” 

With closed eyes Amanda repeated the words a few times until with a deep breath the pain faded and she felt a euphoric sensation buzzing in her head. Opening her eyes she saw the thorns gone as well as Martin feasting on the last of her pain. Amanda had discovered early in playing with her power that when they fed individually or if the pain was minor it didn’t trigger her visions like when they fed as a group. Instead it left her feeling a little buzzed, taking her a moment to realize what he had done.  He put a hand up before she had a chance to get angry with him. 

“Didn’t you listen to Wakti?” He licked his lips. “We ain’t got no place to be but by your side. If we’re in battle you bet your ass we’ll be close enough to keep you safe. Everything is connected or whatever.” He tried not sounding like the crazy old witch herself but it was impossible to deny their connection. 

Amanda found the way he constantly tried to act too tough for everything that was happening endearing. She understood as Chief he had to play the tough guy act and be a figure his people could look up to but as she learned who he really was under the fur coat and title she realized he was just as much a gentle giant as the rest of the Rowdy 3. 

“ **_If_ ** we’re in battle?” Amanda repeated with a raise of one brow making it vanish from behind her bangs. He gave her a coy half grin rolling his eyes with a defeated sigh before taking her shield in his hands and tossing it over his shoulder with ease. 

“ **_When_ ** we go into battle.” He snorted as he began to walk back to his hut. “Which…” Ominously he sniffed the sea air as the breeze swept through the village. “I have a feelin’ it should be very soon.” The other boys sniffed the same and seemed to agree with their leader that something felt like it was coming. Something big. 

“Yeah! Smells angry!” Vogel half climbed Cross to get higher into the breeze, his hood dropping back as he jumped up. 

“Smells big…” Cross sniffed aggressively with Vogel. “Like a thousand angry flies buzzing across the sea~ Bzz~Bzzz!” He buzzed twiddling his fingers as he spoke thoughtfully. Gripps shook his head not liking the feeling of this. 

“I don’t know if I like this new magic.” Gripps kept his head shaking. “It was a lot easier when life just threw shit at you and you handled it there and then. None of this waiting bullshit.” Cross nodded agreeing with is brother pointing at him. 

“I say we sniff out this big bad. It’s been stinking up the sea air for a few days now.” Cross pointed out before pinching his nose. His words caught Amanda’s attention. 

“What are you guys talking about? Wait,” She turned to Martin. “Is that why you wanted to train me? Because you think something bad is coming?” Something Cross said hit her suddenly. “ **_Sea_ ** air? My vision...my first one,” She started trying hard to focus on everything she had seen. “I kept seeing fire across the ocean, I think…” She didn’t want to blindly guess but something in her gut told her she was right. “I think someone is going to try and send an army to attack your village.” 

Vogel scoffed  leaning against a fight dummy with his arms folded. “That’s ridiculous, no one’s brave enough to sail out this far. The shore is too shallow for any ships that don’t know these waters to make it without sinking. Who would be mad enough to try that?” Amanda’s jaw dropped and they suddenly felt the weight of her guilt and dread hit her. 

“What if….” Oh god no. She hadn’t run far enough. “I think they might be after me.” The thought settled in and despite  _ ‘everything being connected’  _ and being a  _ ‘leaf on the stream of whatever’, _ Amanda feared she might have just sealed the fate of the small Viking village. “When I escaped Springsburo, it wasn’t exactly like I snuck off in the middle of the night. There was a lot of guards and almost an execution, and briefly a screaming match with my brother, but long story short I pissed off a lot of Prince Blackwing’s guards and I seriously would not put it past them to follow this far.” A hand moved to cover her face. “Shit, this is all my fault. I never should have involved you in this mess.” Amanda didn’t have long to lament before Martin had her by the shoulders, gently but rougher than she expected. 

“Did you say ‘Blackwing’?” He asked in a low growl, a smolder behind his eyes. She nodded slowly unsure of why that would upset him. His village was far too far away for Blackwing’s rule to possibly affect him and his people but his eyes said different. “Fate truly has brought us together.” He smiled but this time there was no amusement in his eyes, only the same flicker of hate. He released her giving her arms a light brush in case he held her too tightly before walking back towards his hut. Amanda stood a moment not sure if she had said something wrong or not as she was left with only his footprints in the snow to stare at in thought before the others came over. Cross placed a hand around her shoulders looking back at the Chief’s hut. 

“The Kingdom of Blackwing is the reason Martin is the last living heir to the wolf clan.” He stated not taking his eyes off the hut. Already the snow was covering the footprints quickly, as well as lightly dusting Amanda’s dark hair. “It’s kind of how we all ended up together too.” 

Cross looked to Gripps and Vogel. “During a raid, the old Chief, Martin’s father and soldiers went farther than ever before, sailing to uncharted waters. While at sea they were outnumbered by Blackwing ships lead by one of the most terrifying demons to ever walk this Earth. Loki himself couldn’t dream up a soul as dark as Osmund Priest. He took down their ships one by one. Martin was the only survivor, taken captive by Blackwing and tortured into trying to reveal the location of his village. See, Priest was put in charge to destroy any kind of magic he could find, so the Queen and the Kingdom of Blackwing stay in power. They kept him captive for some time when Cross and I came along. They tossed us all in the same cell. Save space I guess." He shrugged. "Together we broke out and he took us with him back to his village and we vowed to protect our leader to repay him for giving us a home again.” Gripps finished and Amanda’s eyes lit up. 

“They killed his entire bloodline because of the fear of magic? That's horrible!" She shouted shaking her head. "That’s why they tried to kill _me_ too!? To keep that bitch in power? Queen Susan can rot in hell!” She sounded disgusted throwing her arms into the air. “I thought she just hated witchcraft like some insane religious thing, but this is even stupider! Screw that!” She was starting to understand Martin’s anger now that she felt her own rage building inside. Blackwing couldn’t just keep magic for itself it was something meant to be shared and Amanda began to understand it was up to them to do something about it.


	6. Dry Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd and Dirk find land among other things.   
> There's also a gender neutral dog which will be explained by the end of the chapter. everything is connected. I still suck at summarizing things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the wonderful intricatecakes for helping me edit most of my fics and especially this chapter! ILY <3

Todd could feel the crush of snow under his feet but surrounded by darkness he couldn’t see where he was going. It was like walking into an endless void. In the distance he could see something that resembled Amanda’s shadow but when he called out to her his voice choked in his throat. Taking another step forward, a wolf larger than Todd had ever imagined moved between him and Amanda, snarling at him as three others moved behind it, snapping jaws at him. 

Todd yelped falling back into the snow only to find himself in a village. The center of town had a tall maypole with children dancing as the village burned around them. 

‘Todd?’ A muffled voice came from beyond the fog and Todd sat up when the wolves had returned as if he were still standing in the woods a moment ago. With a loud snarl the alpha wolf barked but it was far too high pitched to be a wolf. 

“Todd!?” The voice woke him from his sleep this time and Todd shot up with a gasp, hearing the same high pitch bark from the corgi licking his hands. Dirk towered over him, his yellow cloak brushing against Todd’s shoulder. “Thank goodness, I thought you’d never wake up.” Dirk smiled resting against the side of the ship as the dog hopped to his side for a scratch behind the ears. “Rapunzel and I have been  **_incredibly_ ** bored, and between you and I, the conversation's a bit one sided.” He covered the side of his mouth as if he were hiding a secret from the dog. With a tired groan Todd got to his feet, wobbling when the boat shifted with the breeze. 

“Oh right…” Todd yawned dully. “The real nightmare is being stuck on a boat by a crazy guy and his dog.” His belly rumbled and he felt the familiar twang of hunger. He moved a hand over it to try to soothe the discomfort since they’d been floating for over a day and a half now. Dirk quickly got defensive getting to his feet as he gently set Rapunzel down so he could dramatically throw his cloak over his shoulder as he got up. 

“For the record Rapunzel isn’t  **_my_ ** dog, he’s his own dog...I think. I mean I’m sure he belongs to someone.” Rapunzel barked as if to answer. “But not me, he is with us because fate wants him to be. Just like yo-” Already Todd was interrupting him. 

“Drop it with the fate of creation crap! Thank you for getting me out of jail but I never signed up to be your partner in whatever mess you’ve got yourself in!” Todd shouted, making the dog hide under the seat. “I’ve got my own problems, too! My sister is still out there somewhere and it’s all my fault!” Feeling the familiar sting of tears Todd took a breath as he turned his back to Dirk. It was the first he had ever said it out loud. It hurt more than he’d expected. “It’s all my fault.” He said much softer this time sounding defeated. “I lied when they came to our home and asked if Amanda was the only one with magic.” A sleeve slid across his cheek catching a stray tear. “I hid my magic from her because I thought I was protecting her. Everyone knows what happens in Springsboro if you’re caught using magic. I warned Amanda...I warned her not to use her magic but all she ever wanted was to help people. She hated seeing how many people suffered from poverty and illness. She was always the brave one, even as kids.” He couldn’t help let out a wistful laugh. “When they tried to take her I had an attack which distracted them enough for her to escape but...god I’m never going to forget the look of betrayal in her eyes.” By the time he was done he heard a soft sniffle from behind and he turned to see Dirk hiding a tear. It had taken the man by surprise to see Todd opening up but clearly he needed to vent to someone after such an ordeal. Dirk liked this a lot better than when Todd was shouting at him at least. 

“And what do you plan to do  _ if _ \-- I’m sorry,  **_when_ ** you find her?” Dirk asked pulling his cloak a little closer around his shoulders as the breeze picked up. Todd let out a heavy sigh shaking his head as he took a seat beside Dirk. 

“I don’t know...apologize maybe? Find some place we can be safe? I can never go home again, not with the bounty on our heads. I don’t know if she even wants to see me, but I need to know she’s okay. I need to know she’s alive.” Todd pondered where they could go that the kingdom of Blackwing wouldn’t find them. They had their claws in nearly every civilized territory.

They sat in silence for a few moments until Rapunzel barked trying to get onto Dirk’s lap. The dog seemed to like the strange man, or perhaps didn’t care for Todd’s yelling. Either way Dirk enjoyed the companionship. 

“Very good point, Rapunzel.” Dirk patted the dog’s head. “Todd should still keep trying even though things look bleak.” He playfully ruffled his fur receiving a lick on his hand in return. Todd tried to resist smiling but it was more difficult than he thought. Finally he rolled his eyes letting out a heavy sigh. 

“Why are you calling the dog Rapunzel? Isn’t that a girl’s name? You called him ‘he’?” 

Dirk covered Rapunzel’s ears giving Todd an offended look. “Everyone needs a name or Rapunzel might get confused as to who we are talking about, and quite frankly I don’t know Rapunzel’s gender and I thought it was a bit rude to make assumptions or just go looking at a dog’s personal business so I’ve been alternating as we go along.” Dirk smiled down at the dog and again Rapunzel barked wagging his tail. “You really shouldn’t be so close minded, Todd.” 

“You keep talking about the dog like it’s a person.” Again Rapunzel barked but Todd just dismissed it with another sigh. Dirk was about to mention how he understood all too well that all living things deserved to be spoken to with dignity and respect and maybe toss in something about how he knew all too well how living things had feelings in hopes Todd may get the hint to be a little nicer but all that was dismissed the moment Todd saw something in the distance of the horizon. “LAND!” Dirk turned looking over his shoulder where the other man was pointing and sure enough the shoreline was creeping up to their boat. “Oh thank god, we’re saved!! I don’t have to be stuck with a madman and his dog anymore. Civilization at last.” 

“Again, not my dog..” Dirk put a finger up to correct but held it when something Todd said struck him. “Oh...wait when we hit land are we just to go our separate ways and that’s that?” He sounded a bit hurt. Todd of course turned to him with a crook of his brow and a light scoff. 

“Are you kidding me? I spent all day yesterday listening to you rant on about how you were supposedly cursed with both bad luck and good luck which, honestly? Makes no sense. And then you make up stories about how you traveled impossible distances to lands no one has ever heard of! And thank god we found land.” Todd lifted up an empty bottle. “Because you even drank the last of our water.” Dirk tried to defend himself but Todd cut him off. “You’re a con-artist. That’s what you are. Not some guy trying to solve all the world's problems one mishap at a time.” As Todd spoke the boat drifted closer to shore. “You’re just a regular guy trying to sell me magic beans.” The boat hit the sand hard making their bodies shift in unison with the impact and Dirk was left just staring back up at him in a stunned silence. It wasn’t until Todd saw the pain behind the other man’s eyes did he feel the guilt of his words hit him. Dirk stood to get out of the boat, stumbling over his feet and nearly ending up in the water. “Dirk, wait-” Todd tried but the man just put a hand up not wanting help as he struggled to get out of the boat. 

“No, no, I think you’ve helped enough.” Dirk cleared his throat as he got his ankles wet stepping out and moved to gather Rapunzel into his arms but she barked backing up to stay in the boat and barked at him a few more times before placing a paw on Todd’s shoe. “You too then? I see.” He put a hand over his heart. “Fine. Would should I be surprised. Nobody ever stays anyways. Probably part of the curse I suppose.” He gave another sniffle before giving a bow. “Thank you for the help escaping and good luck getting your sister to forgive you.” And with that Dirk started walking off onto the beach. Todd tried to stop him but his feet got tangled up on loose rope giving Dirk enough time to vanish behind the treeline. 

“Wait! I don’t want the dog, either!” Todd tried to shout, but it was too late. By the time he had gotten himself free, Dirk had gone and Rapunzel hopped out with a splash beside him, running from the waves as the tide came in. The pair looked at one another and Todd couldn’t help but groan. “Fine, just don’t wander off.” He huffed before marching off in the direction that Dirk had gone. 

Except, what he hadn’t expected beyond the forest line was to find a bustling village. The ocean waves had muffled the sound of busy streets and dozens of people going about their daily lives. It looked like some kind of festival was taking place and the streets were packed with colorfully dressed people laughing and dancing in the town square. Seeing the tall maypole and the children dancing around it suddenly made his heart skip a beat and Todd tried to ignore the flashes of the same village on fire he had seen in his dream. Gingerly he picked up the dog to make sure she didn’t get trampled in the chaos. He figured the best place to figure out his next move would be at the local pub. He didn’t have any money but it would be nice to be around people who weren’t crazy. 

With Rapunzel under his arm, Todd found a tavern through the crowd and did his best to avoid eye contact with anyone as he found a seat at the bar. Thankfully the bartender was busy with another customer so Todd at least had a few minutes to spare before he was at risk of being kicked out. He hoped maybe someone inside had seen Amanda. It was a shot in the dark but he had to start somewhere. “Look, I don’t plan on staying long so behave.” Todd couldn’t believe he was talking to the dog like it was a person now too. Setting him down on the stool beside him  the little dog spun in place before getting comfortable. It wasn’t long however before Todd felt himself pondering the things he’d said back on the boat. “You don’t think I was too harsh do you?” He asked Rapunzel who just blinked back. “I mean...he’s obviously crazy right? Who is cursed with good luck and bad luck? Wouldn’t that just cancel each other out? Yeah...definitely crazy.” He nodded as if agreeing with himself. Suddenly Rapunzel started barking and at first he did his best to keep her quiet but he froze when he saw a large bald man approach with an eerie smile on his lips. 

“I couldn’t help but admire your dog.” he spoke a bit stiff like a puppet, his head cocking to the side. “Where did you get such a dog. May I hold her?” The puppet man put out his arms and instinctively Todd pulled back. 

“Um…” Everything about this felt very wrong in his gut. “I’m going to have to say no. She’s not really my dog. I’m um...I’m holding her for a friend.” Todd started with wide frightened eyes as he slid off his stool and attempted to make a move for the door. The puppet man tilted his head the other way as if confused by his answer and took another step towards the dog, arms still out stretched. “What are you deaf? I said no!” Todd backed himself into another bald puppet like man who smiled down with a devious grin. 

“He does not want to give us the dog, Brother.” The first man told the second, all the while their smiles never faded. “Should we kill him here, Brother?”

The second man grabbed Todd’s shoulders firmly making it clear he wasn’t going to escape. “Too many witnesses, Brother. We will take him with the others and let our leader decide what way we should kill him.” He let out an unsettling chuckle as he began pushing Todd and Rapunzel out the door. 

“What are you doing?!” Todd tried to make an attempt to get help but he felt a sharp blade in his back and the firm hand that held him gave him few options that didn’t end with a fresh hole in his back. Todd let the men lead him to an alley between the tavern and what Todd could only assume was a brothel. He kept the dog close to his chest, not sure what on earth they would want with a dog but he was sure some of Dirk’s bad luck had rubbed off on him. He hadn’t been on land for more than an hour before he found himself in trouble yet again. They led him into what he could only guess was someone’s home or possibly some kind of squatter’s situation. “Look, this has to be some kind of mix up. This dog came from really far away so whatever dog you think this is, it isn’t, I assure you!” The two men said nothing as they lead him to a rusty cage. 

“Throw them in with the other until our leader returns to us.” The first puppet said shoving Todd into a small room with an even smaller cage. It looked like it was meant for an large animal and had been left in the rain for years with the amount of rust on the bars. His stomach lurched when he saw a woman in the cage before he was stuffed in beside her. Her wrists were suspended by cuffs locked around the cage and it looked like she’d taken quite a beating. The cage door slammed and Todd found himself in yet another cell. There was enough room for all three of them to have some space between them but the instant the men left the dog leapt from his arms and started barking furiously at the unconscious woman. “Shhh! You’ll bring them back in! Shut up!” Todd tried to hush Rapunzel but she continued to lick the woman’s face, barking until she began to stir. She blinked a few moments before realizing where she was and jolting in panic. 

“What the…” It took her eyes a moment to focus before she saw the dog and strange man in the cage with her. Instantly her view shifted to the dog and her jaw dropped. “Lydia?!” She gave a half crazed laugh pulling at her cuffs. “Oh my god, Lydia, is that really you? I thought you were in Springsboro!” The dog barked wagging its tail before moving to Todd and barking at him while he stared at them both more confused than ever. 

“I’m sorry...d-do you know this dog?” He asked shifting back against the cage wall. The woman chuckled softly before pulling something from her hand and began working at the lock around her cuff. 

“You haven’t noticed that dogs like this aren’t common around here or any lands around here.” The lock clicked as the pin between her fingers twisted and turned. “That is a corgi. King Spring’s favorite dog.” Todd was only getting more confused. 

“The dead guy. Why is it so important that this is the old King’s favorite dog?” He shrugged not sure where any of this was going. He watched the locks drop to the ground with a clank and she rubbed her sore wrists. 

“It’s important because before Queen Suzie Boreton took over and killed the king he cast a spell to protect his daughter, putting her in the body of his favorite dog Pepe so she wouldn’t risk execution. I was supposed to keep her safe, but those  **_freaks_ ** _ - _ ” she grunted angrily at the door where the men had just left, “-kidnapped me and brought me to this crappy town for some kind of sacrificial  _ thing  _ they’re planning. They they’re trying to live forever or some nonsense like that.” She rolled her eyes exaggerating with a flourished hand gesture. “Like that’s ever worked before. Everyone who knows anything about sacrificial rituals knows you need at least three people for a blood ritual of that scale, but clearly these men are amateurs, so...” She shrugged. Todd just stared back wondering if he had really gone mad from a day and a half without food or fresh water. He found himself staring slack-jawed before shaking his head to try and make sense of all of this. 

“How...do you...know all of that?” His voice cracked. She sighed, clearly unhappy about having to explain herself. 

“My name is Farah Black. I was put in charge to protect Lydia Spring from an evil witch lady who’s hell bent on taking over the world one Kingdom at a time and the ritual stuff is just good knowledge to have. We have freaking  _ witches  _ running around! Who shouldn’t know this kind of stuff?” Farah shrugged as if it was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard.

“O-okay, um..Farah. I’m Todd Brotzman and I guess me and my  _ fri-  _ I mean, this  **_guy_ ** . This really weird, crazy guy and I found your dog...I mean your  _ person _ ?” This was all a lot to handle at once.  “We crashed our boat on the shore and the first place I walked into these guys grabbed us and tossed us in here.” What were the odds. He briefly let himself wonder if this had anything to do with Dirk’s weird curse. 

No sooner had Todd finally began to just accept the moment and try to figure out how to escape there came a scramble of chaos at the door as it burst open and a bright yellow cloak flew at the cage. “How dare you! That is my best cloak.” A familiar voice followed as Dirk was lead into the small room and hastily shoved into the cage beside Todd and Farah. Dirk did his best not to make eye contact with Todd, almost pretending he wasn’t there in the cramped cage. The very simple-minded men seemed to not notice one prisoner was awake and unbound, seemingly too excited to have captured a third victim for their sacrifice. Todd also kept his eyes forward, awkwardly silent as Lydia gave Dirk’s hand a friendly lick ‘Hello.’ 

“They picked you up because of your bright cloak, didn’t they?” Todd asked first, ignoring Farah’s look between them. Dirk just nodded. Letting out a huff of hot air, Todd buried his face in his hands and tried to stretch as much as the cage would allow him. “I’m sorry for what I said on the boat,” Todd confessed, finally looking at him. “You’ve done nothing but try and help me and I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you. I’m sorry.” 

“I take it you’re friends?” Farah asked. 

“It’s complicated.” Todd answered but Dirk’s face lit up a bit. It was the first Todd hadn’t flat out said ‘no’ to that question. Actually he actively kept assuring Dirk they weren’t. “He’s looking for a way to break some curse and I’m just trying to find my sister. The dog was just a coincidence.” Todd’s eyes grew wide. “I almost forgot. You were right! About the dog! It’s King Spring’s daughter in the body of his pet dog Pepe! You were actually right!” Dirk was beaming now, a broad smile across his face. 

“See! I told you! Everything is connected. It’s how the curse works. It just sort of tangles me up in messes I never intend to get into and then they always work themselves out in the end...usually...most of the time.” Dirk nodded but didn’t sound very sure of himself. “Okay a handful of times but who’s really counting?” He shrugged

“Listen, this has been really fun and all, but I need to get Lydia out of here before their leader gets back. There aren’t any ships leaving the docks with the festival going on so we will need to...” Farah paused as she bent the pin she used to uncuff herself and squeezed herself past Todd so her arm reached through the rusty grate and to the cage door lock. “We’ll need to keep a low profile for the next day or so.” 

“We? So you’re going to help us get out of here and hide from those weird guys?” Todd did his best not to notice he was now jammed up against the rusted cage wall. 

“They aren’t really people, or alive technically. The Queen gave this guy Gordon the power to reanimate the dead and he makes those things that brought you in. They’re like his undead servants.” Farah explained while she struggled with the lock. 

“You know,” Dirk turned looking at the side of the cage wall he was pinned against. “Yeah, this is just rusted completely through. This is just poor craftsmanship at this point.” With a jolt of his elbow he knocked the cage wall free making it very easy to climb out. “I almost feel bad for how easy that escape was.” Dirk dusted himself off before placing his cloak back on. Todd and Farah climbed out next, Farah taking Lydia into her arms while a free hand reached for her dagger in case the goons returned. 

“That was  **_oddly_ ** easy.” Farah sounded a bit suspicious but she wasn’t about to question things with freedom being so close. “Here we can sneak out the window of the next room, just be really quiet,” she warned, leading the way. Very quietly and very cautiously she opened the door of the room, peeking out to make sure no one would see before they darted across the hall and opened the window leading to the roof. One by one they slid down the slanted roof before dropping to the ground. Todd gingerly tossed Lydia to Farah, making sure her landing was soft. After that it was just a matter of blending in with the crowd. 

Todd was impressed with how quickly Farah was able to make use of what was around her. No one noticed when she nicked a scarf off a woman, hiding her hair and face in the crowd and stopped once they were hidden in an alley. “Okay, you,” she pointed at Dirk, “flip your cloak around. It’s too bright and we will easily be spotted,” she instructed and Dirk did as he was told. “Todd, put your hood up too. The less likely we are to be noticed the more likely we stand a chance of finding a place to hunker down until we can catch a boat off this damn island.” Todd and Dirk just seemed to be going along with it now. Farah was clearly very educated for a woman of her time and had a sharp wit about her that both men seemed to lack. 

“Okay just so long as it’s some place warm. It’s starting to snow again. I hate the bloody snow.” Dirk tried to warm his hands up by blowing hot air into them and rubbing them together. “And it’s Dirk by the way. Dirk Gently. I haven’t gotten to properly introduce myself during the whole escape and everything.” He gestured on with his hand. 

“Well, Dirk, I hope you’re okay with brothels.” Farah shrugged looking across the street with a displeased purse of her lips. “It’s the only place those freaks won’t think to look once they realize we’re gone. They were stupid enough not to bother searching me. I have enough silver to book us a room for the night, just…” She looked them both up and down. “Don’t embarrass yourselves.” 

Todd and Dirk shared a look and followed her across the street.


End file.
